On this Father’s Day, I want you to know that I am so sorry that we have had such a difficult parenting journey. This summer marks five years of charts, appointments, meds, stress, emotions of all kinds, and tons of negative pregnancy tests in between the three positive pregnancy tests we have been fortunate to have. (Quite the sentence I know...but it’s fitting for our journey.)
We have been through two full-term, high-risk pregnancies and deliveries. The trauma we experienced with Thomas was nothing compared to the trauma with Marly. Neither of us were prepared to lose our child. How could we be? We were so close. Our daughter was trying to get to us, and we were so ready for her.
I have a feeling she would look a little more like you, but act a little more like me. I wish she were here for you to spoil, because I know you would. Ugh. It’s just not fair.
I wish our experience had fewer heartaches and disappointments. I wish it had all been easier. Our relationship has been through the ringer. You have had to stand by and watch me experience the worst of the worst. But I am thankful you stood by me.
I hope you know I see you. I’ve seen you through it all. In fact, the look in your eyes in those moments after Marly was born and you feared the worst, for us both; were some of the most unforgettably emotional moments of my life. I saw and felt your fear and love for us. I saw your vulnerability and strength.
I will continue to see you through our parenting journey. Whether our family is complete or not. Through your entire “dad-bod” transformation. All of us love you and hope you had the best possible day. 💛💙💗❤️
6.16.19
Photo by Soul Tree Photography Studio (West Fargo)
Location: Bear Creek Winery (Fargo)
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