It is so surreal to see your child’s name on a gravestone. It’s so final. So permanent. Like, you know your child died. You know they aren’t coming back, but there is something about seeing their name on a Certificate of Death or a gravestone you can hardly stomach or comprehend.
Marly’s permanent marker was installed last week and it is beautiful, but also so heartbreaking. Instead of designing her 1st birthday invites, I designed her gravestone. Instead of watching her take her first steps, I have felt like I am stepping further and further away from her.
Instead of her brother hugging and kissing his sister, he hugs & kisses a stuffed bear (Marly Bear). Not only were we robbed of a lifetime with our daughter, but our son was robbed of growing up with a sister. He may never experience having a living sibling. That makes me so sad and angry, for him. And makes me wonder how difficult it will be to answer those tough questions he’ll have someday...
Until then, we continue to talk about Marly every day. She is part of our daily lives because she is part of our family. A huge part. Thomas adores his little sister. And I adore that.
Her stone is proof that she was physically here, she is so beautiful and, she will never be forgotten. Ever.
9.19.19
